If you wanna see some pics, they’re at http://www.makinnoize.com/photos/japan07

(Really, they’re just glorified home videos – but they were made about 10 years before the age of YouTube etc etc. I mean, back when we made these, you couldn’t even CONTEMPLATE downloading video on the ‘inter-web thingy’.)

Oh, and apologies to anyone in these snippets of video history who is either

1/ not my friend any more

2/ is my ex-wife.

3/ Offended.

Too bad. The shit’s funny.

Now, I don’t go to the ‘Golden Arches’ often – and thus, I’m not aware of the approximately 5000 ways one may upsize, sidesize or otherwise a meal. Here’s what happened at the drive-thru.

Girl-who-never-paid-attention-at-school : Welcome to McDonalds. How can I help you?

Kez (me, this guy here) : Can I grab a Big Mac meal please?

Girl-who’s-parents-I’m-sure-are-proud : Sure. What size? Small, Medium or Large?

(Now, I DO know that burgers come in ONE size, and fries come in TWO sizes. So is she really asking me what size drink I want? Thus, I asked the following…)

Kez (now rueing the decision to eat this crap) : What changes?

Girl-whos-hoping-to-be-promoted-to-fries-chef : The Price.

Gee, ya don’t say. I bet every time your parents look at you, they cry a little inside and wish they’d blown the $20k per year at the casino rather than sending you to that ritzy private school.

Reminds me of when I got a 30 cm long hair in a Hungry Jacks burger. I actually rang them not to complain, but to let them know – so that they might DO something about it in future.

Chick-who-answered-phone-at Hungry-Jacks-Mona-Vale : Hello?

Guy (me) -who’s-now-no-longer-hungry : Hi. Can I speak to the manager please?

Newly-self-appointed-manager : That’s me.

Me : Hi. I was just there, and bought a couple of burgers at your drive thru. Ask me how I know you have a cook there with long blonde hair.

Girl-who-can’t-see-where-this-is-going : Er, I dunno. How?

Me : I know, because I just pulled a 30 centermetre long hair out of my Whopper. I’m not kidding. I’m not trying to kick up a stink or anything, but really – you should take a bit more care, ok?

Girl-who-thinks-big-brother-is-a-serious-documentary : (Laughs)

Me : No – look – I’m not joking. I know you’d expect me to be yelling at you, but really, I’ve got bigger issues to think about in my day. i just was so grossed out by this I thought I’d call you and tell you to make sure your staff takes a bit more care.

Girl : (Laughs more) Oh, OK. Do you want a couple of replacement burgers?
Me-wondering-why-I-bothered : (sigh) Are you kidding me??!?!? No. Thank you. That’s all – bye.

I was feeling my IQ drop every second I was on the phone to her. Argh. And Erika was there too – so I have proof this REALLY happened!

Yep, I decided the credit card could cope with a bit of ‘me’ time, and bought a Qantas ticket to Queenstown, NZ, for my snow fix for 2006.

I’ll regail you with tales of this short adventure in a new bubbleandsqueakshow episode soon – including:

- my meeting at NZ customs with the nice lady with the rubber gloves who seemed not only to know that my qantas ticket was booked in haste (wow – how do they know that) but also to believe I had all the hallmarks of a drug kingpin

- hanging out with Dan and Mark from London, who, due to thier burning desire to buy a car in Darwin and drive to Cairns, are sure to appear in a major newspaper near you under the headline “More bloody stupid ill-prepared Pommies take on the outback and become a statistic”

- my contribution to the snowboarding community of a new trick I have dubbed the ‘shin grind’. I know it’s gonna be a winner with the medical centres here new winter, if my bruise is anything to go by… (oh, by the way, I did stick the landing on a 10 meter rail with a 6 foot drop at the end of it afterwards, too! Bummer I have no proof….)

I’ve just got back to Queenstown after my 300km round trip in my nice hire car. Drove from here to Wanaka, to Treble Cone, over the Crown Ranges to Cardrona and back (yep – had a day off the snow. Woke up this morning feeling like I’d had a 24hr ride in a tumble dryer).

All the while I was listening to “Giles Petersen in Brazil” – a podcast I found and loaded into the good ‘ol iPod before I left Sydney. Nice way to spend a day. Good tunes, and snaking through full-on “Lord of the Rings’ scenery whizzing by at butt-clenching, insurance-expanding speeds. I like hire cars…

Yes, the same ‘Spray’ who appears at the end of some episodes of my very own Bubble and Squeak Show (they’re the links on the right).
He’s one gifted mo-fo. Usually he can be found walking that thin line between ‘talented fellow’ and ‘bizarre lunatic’. I hadn’t really caught up with him for a couple of months (While I was finishing ‘Who’s on the box?‘), and found myself checking out his myspace – ‘Murrays Chosen Few‘.

(Actually, I think I’ve just fallen victim to the whole ‘web-techy’ de-personification thing that I keep hearing about. I mean, I just myspaced at least 2 friends who I’ve known before there was ‘the net’. Hmm.)